Like others (especially Morgan Thompson) mentioned, Al-Anon groups differ widely. When I had guardianship of my teenage niece because of her parents’ addictions, I was lucky to be in a town with an Al-Anon program that provided support for teens and also encouraged people to share techniques for dealing with the chaos of addiction.

For me, the most useful techniques I learned were about time. Addicts want everything NOW, but I learned to be in control of my own time. I didn’t have to make the hasty decisions my brothers always wanted. If things got crazy, I could say “Look at the time!” And leave.

It’s good to hear you took control of your time and got out of that relationship. I’m very attracted to addicts. It’s in my blood. Maybe it’s in yours, too. They are often attractive, edgy, interesting people. But I’ve never had much patience with their bs, so had many short term romantic relationships. For the past 12 years, though, I’ve been able to have my cake and eat it too by marrying a guy who’s (now) 19 years sober in AA.