Thank you for writing this, Zara. I identify with your story because I experienced estrangement with both of my adoptive parents. Different culture, and of course adoption makes a big difference, but the emotions you express are so similar to those I felt early in the estrangements.

People told me I’d feel guilty or remorseful when my adopters passed away if I didn’t reconcile with them. One died about 20 years ago, and so far all I’ve felt about the estrangement is freedom and relief.